Don’t just do something - Sit there! Useful tips for People-Pleasers.

If you’re a people pleaser, learning to be more assertive can be challenging but empowering. Here are some practical tips to help you build assertiveness:

1. Understand Your Boundaries

• Take time to reflect on your own needs and limits. What are your non-negotiables? Understanding what is important to you is the foundation of setting boundaries.

2. Practice Saying No

• Start small by saying no to requests that are not aligned with your priorities. It can be helpful to offer a polite but firm response like, “I can’t take that on right now.” Avoid over-explaining.

3. Use “I” Statements

• When expressing your needs, use “I” statements to avoid sounding confrontational. For example, say, “I feel overwhelmed when I take on too much” rather than “You always make me do everything.”

4. Delay Your Response

• If you feel pressured, it’s okay to say, “Let me think about that and get back to you.” This gives you time to assess whether it’s something you genuinely want to do, without feeling rushed.

5. Practice Self-Care

• Prioritize activities that restore your energy and reduce stress. This can help you feel more centered and empowered to assert your needs.

6. Be Direct, Not Apologetic

• When stating your needs or boundaries, avoid apologizing excessively. You don’t need to apologize for having limits.

7. Manage the Guilt

• People pleasers often feel guilty when they assert themselves. Remind yourself that it’s not selfish to prioritize your well-being and that healthy boundaries benefit everyone in the long run.

8. Role-Play Assertiveness

• Practicing assertive responses in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend can help you feel more confident when real situations arise.

9. Start With Low-Stakes Situations

• Build your assertiveness by starting with small, less intimidating interactions. This helps you practice without overwhelming pressure.

10. Celebrate Progress

• Acknowledge and celebrate your efforts, even if they’re small steps. Assertiveness is a skill that takes time to build, so be kind to yourself during the process.

Building assertiveness is about creating a balance between being kind to others and kind to yourself. It’s not about becoming aggressive, but about honoring your needs and standing up for yourself in a respectful way.